Wonderland Wanderess

Until recent years, I harboured so much shame about my history of drug abuse.  It was something I was adamant needed to be kept secret from all but those closest to me.  The mere thought of the scrutinous judgement, whispered words and condescending looks sure to be aimed my way in public, sent waves of anxiety cascading over me.  But no more.  Fuck what you think.  More stories of long term recovery need to be shared with the world.  Struggling addicts need to know that there is hope. The thing I know I wrestled the most with when I was institutionalised each time was the men and women, with all these fancy credentials and titles, trying to "fix" me, when in my eyes they didn't understand a thing and therefore didn't have a hope in hell of bringing about lasting change in my chaotic world or my troubled mind.  Childhood trauma, sexual abuse, mental illness and drug dependency- these aren't things you can properly learn from a book, without ev...

21st August, 2018- Brisbane Entertainment Centre Before I get into the absolute holy wow concert details, I want to first give some background information on why P!nk [Alecia Moore] is my favourite female artist of all time: I have been a fan of P!nk ever since her first album was released when I was just 10 years old.  My brother and I grew up religiously watching Video Hits and Rage on TV every weekend.  Music was a huge part of our lives and a beacon of light in the often dark world we endured as children.    The song  Family Portrait from P!nk's second album,  M!ssundaztood , resonated deeply with both of us.  No matter how many albums and songs she releases, this one will forever remain my all time favourite.  It is so real and raw, exposing the destructive pain of divorce through the eyes of the child. Our own family situation was very complex, in light of severe mental illness and domestic violence.  Dad often lost...

Christopher Jr.  Due: 11/09/2012 This is our story.... The details of the horrific tragedy which claimed the life of Christopher Jr.'s father can be found on Wonderland Wanderess, under the title of "Til Death, did we Part".  "Lachlan's Birth Story", also found on Wonderland Wanderess, details the traumatic experience I endured with my firstborn. Both of these events contributed to my decision to birth my second child via cesarean section. ~ My C-section was scheduled to take place at 39 weeks gestation.  While I wasn't sure what to expect from this form of birth, I assumed it had to be better than the hell I'd been through with Lachlan's induced birth.  That was my first mistake!  You know what they say about the word, "assume"! Once again, my mother would be by my side, just as she had been throughout Lachlan's birth.  This time she would be decked out in blue scrubs and booties- "Paging Dr. Gre...

My first birth was certainly an experience—it was difficult and traumatic. Regardless, I will always find beauty in it.  My son, Lachlan, was worth every second of the pain and I learned so much from his birth that would make my next natural delivery far easier. I have blogged the story of this subsequent labour, under the title Tales of a VBAC Hypnobirth . ~ I was well overdue with Lachlan and it felt like I had been pregnant forever and a day. I was so very over being ridiculously huge and uncomfortable. When the time to be induced came, the hospital was overcrowded with labouring mothers. They informed me I would need to phone the birthing suite each night to see if a bed was available and that if my labour commenced spontaneously in the mean, they would of course deal with it; however, they would not proceed with an induction without adequate staff or facilities. Each night I phoned the outcome remained the same: no free beds. As Easter 2010 drew nearer,  the hospital ...