Dear Self

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Dear Self, 

You are strong and you are brave, and you don’t give yourself nearly enough credit for that. You have survived more in your 35 years of life than most people endure in a lifetime. It is time to forgive yourself for the mistakes you made along the way. Survival might not be an excuse, but it is an explanation, and every so-called ‘wrong’ step brought you to where you are, and who you are, today. Would you trade this version of you for anything? No. No, you would not. You, therefore, cannot begrudge what you think were missteps any longer. Each one put you on this path; the right path; the sober path. 

You are humble, kind, compassionate, and empathetic. Despite the heart aches and breaks you have lived through, you refused to allow the darkness of this world to harden your soul. You strode out of Hell like you owned the place, head held high, nursing buckets of water for loved ones still burning. And even when your voice shook, you told your stories; you had the courage to give others the gift of hope through sharing your lived experiences. 

You are so hard on yourself that you sometimes forget the warrior you are. You have won every single battle you’ve ever fought and now you are winning the battle against alcoholism. Look at you! Kicking arse and taking names, how can you question your self-worth? You are so very worthy, worthy of peace, happiness, and love. You always were. You just forgot who you were for a while there. Now it’s time to love yourself as fiercely as you love others. 

You are generous and giving and try your best to help others when and where you can. You get genuine delight from making others happy and that is a quality to aspire to. Now it is time to get genuine delight from making yourself feel happy and at peace. You are just as worthy! Believe it; believe me; believe us.

If I could give you one thing, I would give you eternal and infinite peace in your soul. Peace is what you need above all else. But alas, there will always be new hardships and hurdles along the way. It is inevitable that times of hurt, and suffering will come again, for such is the precarious nature of humanity. In those times remember, ‘this too shall pass’ and peace will return. Peace will always be dormant beneath the suffering somewhere, waiting for the storms of life to pass you by again. It never rains forever. 

Lastly, be proud of yourself, your journey, and how far you’ve come. Where you were a year ago is eons from who you are and who you are still becoming. You can do this. You are Carla Motherfucking Greenfield, and you can do anything you set your mind to. 

Love from You xo 

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