Wonderland Wanderess

  Dear 2026, come closer, sit, I’ve got some truths I’ll now admit. I’m not the same one who knocked before, I’ve lived; I’ve learned; I’ve wanted more. I come with scars I no longer hide, With softer edges; a steadier stride. I’ve buried versions that couldn’t stay, And sent them kindly on their way. I’ve learned that healing isn’t loud, It’s choosing peace; it’s standing proud. It’s boring nights and honest days, It’s finding worth in simple ways. I’ve learned my strength is showing up, But that you cannot pour from an empty cup. That love is action, not just flame, And staying whole beats winning games. So, whether you bring me joy or tests, I’ll meet both equally with my best, I promise this, no matter what, I won’t back down; I will not stop. Be gentle, sure, but don’t hold back, I’m not afraid of staying on track. Dear 2026, let’s make it true, A year of peace, and choosing me too. ©️ Wonderland Wanderess 2025

  Thirteen years since that final call, Since silence learned my name. The world kept spinning; seasons changed, But nothing felt the same. I search for you in quiet rooms, In songs we used to know. In laughter that still catches me, And turns to undertow. Time said it heals, but truth is this, It only teaches how to stand. With empty spaces in your heart, Still reaching for your hand. I’ve grown; I’ve broken, I’ve learned what grief can be. A shadow stitched into my joy, A part of loving, see. If love could’ve saved you, you’d be here, I know that to my core. You were so deeply, fiercely loved, And still are, forevermore. So I speak your name into the dark, I refuse to let it fade. Thirteen years, my dearest friend, You’re still the mark you made. ©️ Wonderland Wanderess 2025

 I fell in love with quiet words that wait, With ink that knows my truth without debate. A blank white page, a breath before the sound, A place where lost and broken parts are found. Poetry taught my heart to speak in lines, To turn rough grief into deliberate signs. Each rhyme a stitch, each verse a steady hand, Mending pieces no one else would understand. I write to feel; to make sense of pain, To turn life’s storms into gentle rain. The pen becomes a lighthouse in the night, Guiding thoughts back home, restoring light. In writing, I am honest, brave, and free, More myself than I’ve allowed the world to see. For poetry is just love in written art, A thousand whispers from my heart. ©️ Wonderland Wanderess 2025

He doesn’t enter rooms like thunder’s shout, No crashing need to prove what he’s about. His power lives where steady truths are found, In words kept soft; in promises unbound. There’s no wars to win and I’ve no flag to wave, No fragile pride, demands that he be brave. He knows that strength does not require noise, Nor raised fists, or manipulative ploys. His voice is low, but never born of fear, He listens close; makes space; stays near. He walks away from fights that feed into flame, Refusing ego’s desire to stake its claim. He knows that love is not control, That gentleness is disciplined and whole. He doesn’t shy away from tears that fall, His own, or mine—he honours them all. And standing by him, I don’t shrink or bend, I rise, made steady by a heart on the mend. For real masculinity is not loud or proud, It isn’t toxic when patience and grace are allowed. ©️ Wonderland Wanderess 2025

  In January, my boys despised me, or so it felt to me, My choices cast long shadows where their trust once used to be. In February, death came knocking, cruel and far too near, I chose my life; my daughter’s life—and sobered up through fear. In March, I faced the wreckage, every humbling step, I fought like hell for sobriety, the promises I kept. In April, my firstborn, marked fifteen years alive, His birthday broke my heart—I learned how grief survives. In May, I turned thirty-six, though older still I felt, As time carved hard-earned lessons from each hand that life dealt. In June, I leapt from heaven, from a plane into the sky, I learned that fear can free you when you dare to let it fly. In July, love found me where my teenage dreams once lay, A boy from twenty years ago—my heart knew right away. In August, six months sober, stood steady, strong, and clear, Half a year of choosing life, of showing up sincere. My girl, she turned eleven, though wise beyond her years, A child fo...

Another Christmas Eve, but this one’s not the same, Something deep within me whispers life has changed its name. Not braced for what might shatter, not holding my breath tight, For once I’m resting easy as the world turns soft with light. Last year was stitched with sorrow, with confusion, pain, and loss, Each morning felt like penance, every choice a heavy cost. I carried guilt like winter, cold and cutting to the bone, Unsure if I would ever find my way back home. But this year I am standing, sober, present, free, Tomorrow doesn’t frighten me with what it asks of me. I wake without the weight of shame pressed heavy on my chest, And for the first time in so long, I know I’ve done my best. Lights adorn the house and tree, like the glitter in my heart, Tiny sparks of healing where the breaking used to start. Laughter fills the walls again, no echoes left to roam, This joy is loud and living—this house is finally home. My children’s eyes are shining with a trust rebuilt by time, Proof th...

My scars speak first when I enter a room, They arrive before words; before names; before bloom. They tell of the nights I survived by my own breath, Of bargains with silence; of dances with death. They don’t cry aloud or ask to be seen, They whisper of battles; of where I have been. They murmur, “She’s fallen, she knows how it feels, To kiss the hard ground and still learn how to heal.” Some thin as the regrets I once carried with shame, Some wide as the darkness that swallowed my name. Each mark holds a truth my voice struggled to say, Of choosing to live when it felt easier not to stay. I used to grow smaller when eyes lingered long, Afraid they’d read me and get me all wrong. Now I let them stare, let the scars do their part, They tell of my breaking, and more of my heart. They say I was tested, bent close to the flame, That pain tried to own me, but failed in its claim. They speak of endurance, of strength softly worn, Of a woman remade, not bitter—but born. So when I speak now, it...

They didn’t say it out loud, or otherwise make it known, No speeches made, no painted signs, no big words overthrown. Forgiveness, it came softly; quiet, and slow, Like light through a door I’d bolted with, “No.” It lived in their laughter—careless and free, In hands reaching out, without doubting me. In the way they said, “Mum”—still warm; still whole, Like my broken past hadn’t swallowed the role. I carried my shame, like a weight on my chest, They carried none—they just wanted my best. I counted the nights I was half-there; not true, They never kept score of the things I’d undo. I judged my every failure; replayed my every fall, Built courtrooms in silence, where I’d sentence them all. While I punished my heart for the things I’d become, They were planning tomorrow, with me as their mum. Children don’t forgive with words carefully said, They forgive by believing you’ll show up instead. By asking for presence and trusting you’ll try, By sleeping in peace, sure you won’t say goodbye. ...

  This Christmas, it feels quieter; softer somehow still, An empty chair, a missing laugh, a space no joy can fill. The lights are up, the tree still glows, the carols drift and play, But part of us is holding our breath and learning how to stay. Your hands once wrapped the season up in warmth and gentle cheer, With stories told and love poured out, every single year. Now memories hang like ornaments: fragile, bright, and true, Each one a thread of Christmas love that leads us back to you. We feel you in traditions; in every shared refrain, In recipes and rituals that soften grief and pain. Though this is our first Christmas, walking without you near, We carry you inside our hearts, in every quietly shed tear. So tonight we’ll light a candle and let its silent glow remind, That love outlives the hard goodbyes we have to leave behind. Merry Christmas, Grandma—your light still shows the way, Not gone from us, just held in love, this Christmas and always. ©️ Wonderland Wanderess 2025

  Twenty years back, just kids in disguise, Wild hearts, sharp smiles, truth hid in our eyes. We found each other early, too soon to understand, How love can slip away, when time won’t take your hand. We fit like a secret the world couldn’t keep, But timing stood guard while we learned how to bleed. So fate pulled us sideways, said, “Go—learn the cost, You’ll find what is real, only after it’s lost.” It sent us through fire, through nights carved in doubt, Through breaking ourselves just to figure things out. We loved and we lost and we stood on our own, Learning strength is built when you’re left all alone. And still—after detours, wrong turns, and delay, After swearing we’d never come back the same way, Every version of me: cracked, weathered, and torn, Kept walking the road that led here, reborn. Because you are my home—not the place, but the truth, The shelter I earned after fighting my youth. After all of the miles, the twists and the bends, I’d walk through those storms again...