Survival

By


It doesn’t start with shattered skin,

But quiet rules that creep within.

A harsh voice; a watchful stare,

A leash disguised as loving care.


It edits you in subtle ways,

Your words; your clothes; your nights; your days.

Each, “I just worry” tightens more,

Until you’re smaller than before.


Your world contracts, the walls move in,

Your thoughts feel watched beneath your skin.

You learn the weight of every sigh,

The danger in a question, “Why?”


Your laughter fades; your edges blur,

You stop remembering who you were.

Your “no” dissolves to please; appease,

Your silence learned as expertise.


Now bruises bloom and blood is shown,

Yet something vital has been overthrown.

Not flesh or bone, but will and choice,

The quiet murder of a voice.


They take your trust, then take your name,

Rewrite your truth; reframe your pain.

You doubt your mind; your past; your sight,

Because they swear that wrong is right.


This is domestic violence, refined and slow,

A careful theft no one can show.

Hands clenched hard and gripping tight,

Starving the soul; denying light.


You forget the songs you used to sing,

Forget the life before just existing.

You shrink so well, you almost vanish,

A ghost trained daily not to panic.


They called it love; they called it fate,

But love does not erase; negate.

Love doesn’t ask you to be less,

Or turn your fear into a test.


And still, beneath the ash and dust,

The soul survives because it must.

Bruised and buried, yes, it’s true,

But erasure is not the death of you.


What’s taken can be named; reclaimed,

The lies undone; the truth unchained.

And one day you will stand and see,

They never owned your soul—you’re free.


©️ Wonderland Wanderess 2026

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

'Til Death, did we Part

By
Image
TRIGGER WARNING: this post contains very graphic detail, which some may find distressing My eldest son, Lachlan, did not ever meet his biological father, Dean.  Their entire father/son relationship amounted to approximately 3 telephone calls throughout the time between Lachlan's birth in 2010, and Dean's untimely death.  This aside, Lachlan and I were both lucky enough to find an amazing man, who not only loved me more fiercely and passionately than I had ever known, but also loved my son as though he were his own—Chris—the first man I ever truly loved.   When Chris and I discovered I was pregnant, we were surprised but thrilled.  We had our first ultrasound at 6 weeks and I will never forget the look of sheer wonder, delight and adoration on Chris's face as he watched the screen and listened to our baby's heartbeat.   I recall thinking, this is how it's supposed to be —i t's going to be so different this time around — it's going to be perfect.....
Read more

Confessions of a Pro-life Mother: there but for the grace of God go I

By
Image
I have always been open about being pro-life. I know this is a sensitive topic but please hold off on lugging out the torches and pitchforks just yet. There is a heartfelt story behind my steadfast view. A few months ago an acquaintance accused me of unfairly judging my fellow women by being pro-life, rather than pro-choice.  I responded, 'I don't judge women who make that choice because, there but for the grace of God, go I.' She replied, 'So, you're pro-life but don't judge a woman for making a choice? I don't understand.' Well, what led me to be pro-life? That is the story that needs telling to answer her question. I was 20 years old when I learned I was pregnant for the first time. A few months prior, I fled from a toxic 2 year, on again/off again relationship, riddled with domestic violence and drug dependence. He was what I thought at the time was my first love. How wrong I was. I had no idea what love was then, but he was all I knew. I was dy...
Read more

Jimmy Crow of Crow's Nest, Queensland

By
Image
Crow, Jim (c. 1825—c. 1884) by C M Wormington Jim ‘Jimmy’ Crow (c. 1825—c. 1884), camp operator and Indigenous guide, was born in the 1820s, in the Darling Downs, Queensland (Kerkhove 2020). His exact birth and death dates remain unknown and, in addition, it is unclear whether Crow's surname was associated with his crow-like appearance or his moiety (Kerkhove 2020); in fact, many aspects of Crow's early life are disputed. This can most likely be attributed to his younger years having occurred in early Aboriginal times. Written history from these times is ‘…almost non-existent’ (McGreevy 2003, para. 1) and, because of this, there is a large gap in the documented facts of Crow’s life. This gap ranges from his birth, up until approximately his early 20s. Popular belief holds that the entire name ‘Jim Crow’ was given to him by the early settlers (Watson 2020), with his traditional birth name remaining a mystery; however, Kerkhove (2020) did not acknowledge this theory in hi...
Read more

Christopher Jr.'s Birth

By
Image
Christopher Jr.  Due: 11/09/2012 This is our story.... The details of the horrific tragedy which claimed the life of Christopher Jr.'s father can be found on Wonderland Wanderess, under the title of "Til Death, did we Part".  "Lachlan's Birth Story", also found on Wonderland Wanderess, details the traumatic experience I endured with my firstborn. Both of these events contributed to my decision to birth my second child via cesarean section. ~ My C-section was scheduled to take place at 39 weeks gestation.  While I wasn't sure what to expect from this form of birth, I assumed it had to be better than the hell I'd been through with Lachlan's induced birth.  That was my first mistake!  You know what they say about the word, "assume"! Once again, my mother would be by my side, just as she had been throughout Lachlan's birth.  This time she would be decked out in blue scrubs and booties- "Paging Dr. Gre...
Read more

Best Friends Forever

By
Image
People say, " you don't know what you've got until it's gone" but the truth is, with Brad, I always knew.  The statement,  "True friends are like diamonds, precious but rare..." is so, so very true and it was never lost on me, that Brad was one of my diamonds.    2012 was, undoubtedly, the worst year of my life and the final kick in the guts, just one day before it ended, was a phone call during which I learned my best friend had left this world.  I will never forget the crashing in my ears, the sinking pit in my stomach, my knees hitting the floor as my legs gave way, the unshakeable belief that every person I loved seemed cursed to die.  Life seemed hell bent on slamming me back to the floor again, every time I found my feet. ~ To go back to where it all began, Brad was originally close mates with Dean, the biological father of my eldest son.  Early on in my pregnancy, when Dean and I were still together, Brad often looked out for me, ensuri...
Read more

For the Love of Difficult Children

By
Image
No parent signs up for children with behavioural or emotional disabilities. Heck, if it worked that way, none of us would. But oh, what a gift would be lost to this world. Difficult children grow into strong willed adults, champions of the causes they believe in; dream chasers, peacemakers, and driven entrepreneurs.  They are worth all the tears, sleepless nights, judgemental stares, and specialist appointments.   I was a difficult child; now I am raising one. I know you are exhausted, Mumma, but to your little boy, you are Wonder Woman , battling his demons and bringing calm to the chaos of his overwhelmed mind. Breathe—you've got this.   Dad, I see you struggling with the weight of working hard, only to come home to World War III in your living room, when all you want is peace and quiet.   To the single parent weeping in your car, after your daughter threw the mother of all tantrums in the supermarket, I think you are a rock star. ~  ...
Read more

What my Gender-Nonconforming Son is Teaching me, as I Teach the World About Him

By
Image
Yes, my son is gender-nonconforming and no, that probably doesn't mean what you think it means. But in a world where terms such as, transgender, gender-neutral, non-binary and gender-fluid are more commonplace than ever before, it's easy to see how confusion occurs. Contrary to popular belief, gender-nonconforming is defined as, "Denoting or relating to a person whose behaviour or appearance does not conform to prevailing cultural and social expectations about what is a appropriate to their gender." (Oxford University Press 2019)  In Australian culture, one example of this is males who like to wear dresses, skirts, heels, and/or makeup. Considering this definition, allow me to list some of my own personal synonyms for the term gender-nonconforming: bold, confident, unique, fearless, authentic, and empowered. This term has a lot less to do with sexual orientation, or even gender, and a lot more to do with being courageous enough to do what makes one ha...
Read more

Tales of a VBAC Hypnobirth

By
Image
Parts of this birth story are written in 'Hypnobirthing Language' which changes a lot of medical terms to gentler words. The medical terms are added in brackets the first time each is used. This story begins with the events that shaped my views of birth. In 2010 I gave birth to my first child. At two weeks overdue, I was induced and my labour was horrific, as were my postpartum complications. I now attribute this to the fact my labour was artificially induced. In December 2011, I fell pregnant with my second child. During the first trimester, my loving partner tragically passed away in our home during an epileptic seizure. Remembering how traumatic my first birth was, I didn't believe I'd cope, especially given the dark place I was already in. Instead, I opted for an elective C-section. Early in my final pregnancy, I discovered a place I now view as The Gold Standard in prenatal and postnatal care: My Midwives . I cannot speak highly enough of My Midwives and the ...
Read more