Honey, my Organs are Escaping!

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Just when I think I have this body of mine figured out, it goes and knocks me for six!  After months of increased Endometriosis flare ups, sleepless nights and countless days spent writhing around my bed in agony, I knew I had to do something.  Living with chronic pain is emotionally draining and physically exhausting.  It's not living at all really... just existing.

Endometriosis, or Endo as it is often called, is a chronic illness with no known cause or cure, affecting 1 in every 10 women (World Endometriosis Society, 2020).  In women with this hereditary disease, tissue similar (but not identical) to the lining of the uterus grows throughout the pelvic cavity, on organs and the reproductive system.  In rare and more severe cases, Endometriosis has been found in every part of the body except the spleen!  This tissue breaks down and bleeds during the woman's monthly cycle, just as the endometrium does, only the Endometriosis tissue has no way of exiting the body- it just hangs out in the abdomen, causing scar tissue and organs to stick together.  My worst experience of this was when my bowel was adhered to my abdominal wall and needed to be cut free- that was a fun day! 

~ 

As a general rule, Endo tends to have a life cycle of around 5 years, which is almost how long it has been since my last excision surgery.  This is not to say women are completely pain free for those 5 years but surgery, when performed correctly, will alleviate at least some of the pain.  

I have had 3 laparoscopic surgeries, so knowing I was due for another, I thought I knew exactly what I was in for.  I know the post-op recovery like the back of my hand, I've experienced complications and lived to tell the tale, I was thinking, "We're good!"

Oh but we most certainly were not good and I did not know what I was in for!  I guess my organs have had enough of being stuck together, they're fed up with this uninvited and unwelcome tissue that keeps multiplying and bleeding all over their home.  They're vacating the premises!  Okay, that's probably not really why it's happening but it's a good story and I'm sticking to it!

When they asked in school what I wanted to be when I grew up, I am almost certain my response was not prolapsing by the age of 31!  Cheers, bladder and anterior wall!  Stellar effort!  Did my body come with a warranty?!  Surely I can I exchange this lemon???

Honestly, I'm just being a comical twit because it's how I deal with 99% of the bullshit in my life.  If it can't be changed, joke about it- laughter is cathartic- and no matter what, there is always somebody worse off.  I refuse to complain or be negative about what is happening to me when there are so many people dealing with much more horrendous dilemmas than this.  My goal is only to educate and make people smile.

Am I sad that I am going to lose the womb that grew all 3 of my babies and attempted to grow my 5 miscarriages?  Hell yes!  Will I grieve, yes.  I have to deal with it and face it or it will lead to mental health issues later on.  The difference is that in doing this, I have accepted it and I am choosing to focus on my university dreams which have commenced this year, rather than the negativity of this unfortunate situation.  I will not let anything stand in the way of my future, and that includes my own organs and reproductive system!

~

So, now I am waiting and preparing for my 4th surgery in 6 years; one that will be nothing like any I have experienced before.  I simply cannot carry on as I have been.  It is not healthy to take pain medication as frequently as I need to in the long term and it is not good for my kids to grow up seeing Mummy so sick all the time.

Then there's my precious baby girl- the one in line to inherit this bitch of a disease.  I pray every single day that I haven't passed it on to her.  But if by chance I have, I need to show her how to take charge of it, to seek treatment, to never stop fighting and to speak openly and unashamedly about her body.  For her most of all, I refuse to stay silent.  💛  #FuckEndo





References:


The World Endometriosis Society and The World Endometriosis Research Foundation. (2020). Endometriosis.org Global Forum for News and Information. Retrieved from
http://www.endometriosis.org/resources/articles/facts-about-endometriosis/

Wormington, C. (January 27, 2019). Infertile since 25- the silent epidemic. Wonderland Wanderess. Retrieved from
http://www.wonderlandwanderess.blogspot.com/2018/09/infertile-since-25-silent-epidemic.html?m=1
google.com, pub-5896944412523933, DIRECT, f08c47fec0942fa0
     


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