Wonderland Wanderess

Written on 17th March, 2018 In My Eyes: a journey through the years 5 years ago you were such a smart baby, So advanced in milestones, it amazed us daily! There were many lows but many more highs, You were perfect, in my eyes. 4 years ago you spoke in language well beyond your years, But owing to your naughtiness, I shed so many tears. No matter how dark the nights grew, the sun would always rise, It was all part of our journey and you were perfect, in my eyes. 3 years ago, your IQ rapidly grew, You'd go far in life, this we all knew. Why such poor behaviour, you were evidently wise, Despite my exhaustion, you were perfect, in my eyes. 2 years ago I thought, "I'm not sure I can do this any more..." "This kid is so smart, it has to be my parenting that's poor." Through the tears, the heartache and all the tough stuff, I loved you so much but was that really enough?! 1 year ago we learnt you have ADHD, Finally, I knew that it wasn't just me. You are gi...

No parent signs up for children with behavioural or emotional disabilities. Heck, if it worked that way, none of us would. But oh, what a gift would be lost to this world. Difficult children grow into strong willed adults, champions of the causes they believe in; dream chasers, peacemakers, and driven entrepreneurs.  They are worth all the tears, sleepless nights, judgemental stares, and specialist appointments.   I was a difficult child; now I am raising one. I know you are exhausted, Mumma, but to your little boy, you are Wonder Woman , battling his demons and bringing calm to the chaos of his overwhelmed mind. Breathe—you've got this.   Dad, I see you struggling with the weight of working hard, only to come home to World War III in your living room, when all you want is peace and quiet.   To the single parent weeping in your car, after your daughter threw the mother of all tantrums in the supermarket, I think you are a rock star. ~  ...

I have struggled with my fluctuating weight for as long as I can remember.  Shortly before I was diagnosed with paediatric onset bipolar disorder ,   when I was around 11 years old, I suffered my first severe depressive episode.  During this time, I struggled to sleep and eat, and my weight dropped dangerously low.    In high school, I went from one extreme to the next- I was bullied and turned to food as a means of comfort.  I would come home of an afternoon and gorge myself on any junk food in the house.  Throughout my secondary education, my weight was the highest it has ever been and my self esteem lived in the gutter. That weight dropped right off once I had left school and spiralled into drug addiction, which saw me go from a snug size 16, to a size 6, in a matter of months.  I  didn't start gaining weight again until I fell pregnant with my eldest son, Lachlan who was my salvation in so many ways.   From the moment I fo...